About

This is a skit from 'Nine Sharp,' a 1938 revue by Herbert Farjeon. I came across it when it was being used as an exercise in the use of language. I think the aim was to show how people play with words and may even make them up but still convey a meaning.

Bridge Skit

The players examine their hands. When they talk, they do not look at each other, but concentrate entirely on their cards.

FIRST MAN (humming softly as he sorts): Pom pom-pom-pom, pom-pom-pom, pom-pom pom pom, pom pom-pom, pom-pom-pom-pm ...

SECOND MAN (whistling through his teeth): Ss, ss-ss-ss-ss, ss-ss-ss, ss-ss-ss, ss ss-ss, ss ss ss-ss ...

FIRST LADY: Bub bub bub-bub, bub bub bub-bub, bub-bub-bub, bub bub-bub bub whose call?

SECOND LADY: Your callikins.

FIRST LADY (still engrossed in her cards): My little callikins, well, well, well, well my little callikins. Let me see, then, let me see - I think, I think, I think a pink-a-pink--no bid.

SECOND LADY: Tch tch tch, tch tch tch, tch-tch, tch-tch, tch-tch-tch, tch-tch-tch, no bid.

FIRST MAN: One cloob.

SECOND MAN (dropping into Irish): Did ye say one cloob?

FIRST MAN (dropping into Irish): I did that.

SECOND MAN: Er hat ein cloob gesagen (Singing) Er hat ein cloob gesagen, er hat ein cloob gesagen ... one hearty-party.

FIRST LADY: Two diminx.

SECOND LADY: No bid, no bid.

FIRST MAN: No bid a bid bid.

SECOND MAN: Two diminx is it? Two naughty leetle diminx. This, I think demands a certain amount of considération. (Drums fingers on table) Yes, yes, my friends, beaucoup de considération.

SECOND LADY (after a pause): Your call, partner.

SECOND MAN: I know it, I know it, I know it, I know it, I know it, indeed, indeed, I know it. (Clacks tongue) I know it, I know it, I double two diminx.

SECOND LADY: He doubles two diminx.

FIRST MAN: He doubles two diminx.

SECOND MAN: I double, I double, I double two diminx.

FIRST LADY: Very well, then, have at you. Two no trumpets.

FIRST MAN: Ha ha!

SECOND MAN: Ho, ho!

FIRST LADY: He, he!

SECOND LADY: H'm, H'm!

They revert to their pet noises as they consider their hands.

From: Nine Sharp, by Herbert Farjeon

The Nine Sharp Challenge

Question: What cards could the players plausibly have had in order to make the bidding sequence given above?

Assume the following:

  • Players are bidding according to standard american yellow card (sayc)
  • Sound overcalls
  • No psyches
  • Both sides are non-vulnerable
  • No part-scores

Help for the Nine Sharp Challenge