Conventions (1)

In okbridge one day I opened a table with a friend of mine named 'K' as my partner. He had an excellent wit.

Two opponents joined us and set about discussing their conventions in excessive detail. This went on and on without a bid being made let alone a card being played, so I decided to jolly things along a bit as follows:


opponent: ... rdrury, smolen, 3c puppet, pre-accepts in the second position only

will: I've never tried a second position ... i'll have to talk to my wife about it

K: I already did, will

More fun was had by pretending to misunderstand an alert of the Ogust response to a weak two-bid:

opponent: ogust

will: but it's february, at least here in europe it is

Or the nmf convention:

opponent: we play new minor forcing

will: you perverts